Grief

On the day when the United States and many elsewhere mourn the death of Coretta Scott King, the first reading (from 2 Samuel 18 & 19) presents us with the heartbreaking grief of King David as he learns of the death of his son Absalom.

And the king was much moved,
and went up to the chamber over the gate, and wept:
and as he went, thus he said,
O my son Absalom,
my son, my son Absalom!
would God I had died for thee,
O Absalom, my son, my son!

*****

In times of death, there are often people who tell us not to cry.

There are some who would have told David not to cry, because Absalom was a bad son who had been trying to kill him.

But there was more to Absalom and his life than that foolish, fatal campaign against his father and David his father remembered that.

Absalom may have tried to destroy his father, but his father always remembered him as that little child he once held so long in his arms.

And so David wept.

David did not forget the bad things Absalom did, but it was right for David to mourn all the good that Absalom was and the good that might have been.

So too we, whenever we learn of someone’s death, we may not be simplistic in our reactions. Even if someone “deserved it,” we can mourn whatever good there had been in that person and mourn the good that should have been – without implicitly endorsing the imperfections that person may have had or the evil that person may have done.

*****

At other times of death, there are people who tell us not to cry because the dead person “is in a better place” or because the person is “with the Lord.” A few might even say that mourning the death of a person who was good, holy, and full of years is contrary to our Christian faith in resurrection and eternal life.

The answer to this is found in the shortest verse of the Bible (John 11:35):

Jesus wept.

Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, the eternal Son of God, wept.

Our Lord knew that he would restore Lazarus to life. He had just said as much to Martha in those simple, powerful and famous words (v. 25):

I am the resurrection, and the life:
he that believeth in me,
though he were dead,
yet shall he live.

Yet Jesus wept.

And then he called Lazarus forth from the grave.

The lesson is clear: it is not a denial of Christian faith to weep in the wake of death.

Our faith in resurrection and eternal life through Christ is sure and certain, yet there is a real sense of brokenness and disruption even in the “happiest” death. It is a parting, even if it is only for a little while.

And so it is good to grieve.

That is not to say that we should dwell long in grief. David went on with his life and our Lord turned the experience of Lazarus’ death into one of the greatest demonstration of his glory and power.

And so we too must go on: never afraid to walk fully in the shadow of the valley of death when those times come, but always going forward in Christ – in faith, love, service, and gloriously joyful hope.