Commitment, weakness, and grace

Today’s Gospel (Mt. 19:3-12) deals with two hot-button topics: divorce and celibacy.

The topic of celibacy has become a bit more prominent in recent days, as accusations have spread widely of an alleged affair between a high profile priest in New York and his secretary.

No matter who we may be – single, married or celibate – we are all subject to temptation: whether from physical desire, perceived emotional need, or some combination of both.

Absolute protection from temptation can be found neither in marriage nor in celibacy.

Both marriage and celibacy are lifetime commitments, but both of them are best lived with daily renewal. Especially in this hedonistic world, taking one’s lifetime commitment for granted can be a quick trip to disaster.

Every day, it is good for the married person to renew one’s commitment to one’s spouse, to the sacredness of the commitment, and to the godly path of which this commitment is a part. Most importantly, it is absolutely necessary every day to pray for the graces to persevere and to accomplish God’s glory in that commitment.

Every day, it is good for the celibate person to renew one’s commitment to one’s vocation, to the sacredness of the commitment, and to the Kingdom of Heaven to which that commitment is dedicated. Most importantly, it is absolutely necessary every day to pray for the graces to persevere and to accomplish God’s glory in that commitment.

So also for the single person, not committed at this moment to either marriage or celibacy, it is good every day to renew one’s commitment to maintaining chastity and to finding the Lord’s path for one’s life. Most importantly, it is absolutely necessary every day to pray for the graces to persevere and to accomplish God’s glory through whatever path the Lord has chosen.

We are all sinners. Sad to say, we too often fail (if only by committing adultery in our hearts), but we always can and must return to the right path by the Lord’s grace.

We must not diminish the seriousness of our sins, but neither should we despair nor be discouraged when we fall or when someone else falls.

* * * * *

All men cannot receive this saying,
save they to whom it is given.

For there are some eunuchs,
which were so born from their mother's womb:
and there are some eunuchs,
which were made eunuchs of men:
and there be eunuchs,
which have made themselves eunuchs
for the kingdom of heaven's sake.

He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.

As for celibacy, as the Lord says, it is a gift, something “given,” something precious, even though it is not something everyone “is able to receive.”

The difficulty of celibacy is evident even in today’s Gospel. The translation given in some lectionaries softens the language considerably by using the term “incapable of marriage.” The traditional and more accurate translation (as given above) is “eunuch” – one who has been castrated.

This is to be understood in a spiritual sense only (the ancient scholar Origen, for example, has been universally and rightly rebuked for physically castrating himself).

Even so, the idea of being castrated or a eunuch in ANY sense is not a pleasant one: there is the same sense of powerlessness, loss of identity and purpose, and openness to ridicule.

The failures of other celibates – whether with adult women or (most horribly and shamefully) with children – make it worse: increasing the ridicule, the crisis of identity, and the powerlessness.

Yet it is precisely in the depth of that struggle that we find part of the answer to the question “Why should there be celibacy?” – not only because of the freedom it gives to serve God and his people, not only as a special imitation of Christ, not only in its unique form of dedication to God, but even in the inherent challenges of the celibate state, of spiritually being a eunuch, especially in a time of scandal.

It is a powerful occasion for the grace of God to shine forth.

And to keep me from being too elated
by the abundance of revelations,
a thorn was given me in the flesh,
a messenger of Satan, to harass me,
to keep me from being too elated.

Three times I besought the Lord about this,
that it should leave me;
but he said to me,
"My grace is sufficient for you,
for my power is made perfect in weakness."

I will all the more gladly boast of my weaknesses,
that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
For the sake of Christ, then,
I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships,
persecutions, and calamities;
for when I am weak, then I am strong.
(2 Cor. 12:7-10)

Married, celibate or single, we are all weak human beings.

As Christians and as brothers and sisters within the Church, we need to do all we can to strengthen each other in living our commitments faithfully.

When we fall in our human weakness, we should help each other rise up and continue on the path to holiness. If the weakness is a dangerous one (as in the case of pedophiles or abusive spouses), there must be firm protection against the danger and care for the victims: accompanied but not diminished by justice, mercy, and compassion for the one who is weak.

While we must be mindful about our weaknesses and the failures among us, however, they cannot be our focus. Rather, we must keep our eyes fixed on the goal of perfection and eternal life that Christ offers us together with the graces to reach that goal (for we are weak).

Married people need to be encouraged to continue nurturing their married lives together. Celibate people need to be encouraged to continue nurturing the precious gift they have been given. Single people need to be encouraged to continue discerning carefully the Lord’s path for their lives and avoiding the temptations against chastity.

Likewise, each of us – married, single, or celibate – need to be signs to each other: signs of the value of commitment, signs of living the Gospel faithfully, signs of forgiveness, and signs of grace.